I saw this online, and I had to share. Some of you may have already read this, but with Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I wanted to post it. I think it truly sums up everything that we feel as moms, no matter how old our children are. Please have a wonderful Mother's Day this Sunday
Being a Mom— Author Unknown —
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations ..."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
"You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God ... that of being a Mother.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be moms.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Happy Mother's Day
Posted by nwkinjapan at 5/08/2008 10:51:00 PM
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1 comments:
This woman is right on about being a mother and constantly wondering if your child is OK when he or she is not in your line of vision - continues all through life. Putting a child on the school bus for the first time and knowing they are under someone else's watch for the next several hours requires all the faith a mother can muster. A mother will risk speeding tickets and passing cars on a two lane road in order to get home before the kindergarten bus gets there. A child not making a team or not getting the invitation to a special party will always leave a mother's stomach churning with pain for that child. Having a teenage driver in the family adds a few wrinkles for most mothers. Dropping a child off at college for the first time feels like that first day of school all over again! Then they marry and you think OK I can relax a bit because they have someone with whom they can share life, but then you realize you have just gained more people about whom you can worry. But each of these occasions over the years also brings with it a sense of satisfaction that maybe you have done the right thing and that your child is prepared for each step along the way and along with that the joy that they have in each of these major milestones. Then along come the grandchildren and more worry coupled with fun, joy, and a sense of completeness. All the joys and happiness outweigh the worry and troubles. But being a mother and grandmother will always involve walking a tight rope between happiness and joy for the present and fear of what comes next. Mom and Nana
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