Saying Goodbye!

I think the hardest thing about being part of the military is always having to say goodbye.  I am not talking about saying goodbye to Brian as he leaves on deployment.  While that is a very hard thing to do, we know that we will see him again.  I am talking about the goodbyes we must say to people that we have met along our journey in the Navy that we must say goodbye to, and we have to accept the fact that we may never see some of them again.  It is never easy.  We first did this way back in Washington state when we left our home of three years with a brand new baby.  It was a difficult move because we were the last of our group of friends to move.  It is never easy to be left behind. However, we moved to Chicago, and family and new friends filled the gaping holes.    We  met a group of friends that were like family to us.  The group was inseparable.   We did everything together, and our kids were very close.  We shared things like preschool days, playdates, pregnancy, toddler years, girls weekends, guys weekends, cook outs, and so much more.  Leaving Chicago in December of 2003 with another new baby was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  But with every new move, there are new people to meet.

When we moved to Chesapeake, Virginia, I was alone.  Brian left on deployment, and there I was with a three year old and a ten month old.  I was blessed with great neighbors and wonderful playmates for my boys.  We also met people from Brian's submarine who became like family to us.  When you go through a deployment with someone, you become very close to those families.  The only people who will ever understand what it is like to be a military spouse and be "left behind" are the ones who experience it with you.  

Last year, we had to, once again, say goodbye to our "Chespeake" and "Navy" friends to move to the other side of the world.  Again, it was not easy.  I always remember those last treasured days with our friends.  We were fortunate enough to be able to share dinner and fun with each of our close friends before leaving.  

Now, we are here...in Japan- the place in which I never wanted to come!  School is almost out and it is moving season.  In the year since we got here, we have been touched by so many different people.   Many of our good friends over the past year are leaving us.  We are being "left behind."  Just today, Patrick's class had an end of the year celebration.  Patrick has a good buddy, Erik, whom he met the first day of school this year, and he will be moving in two weeks.  The two boys have been great friends.  They have many of the same interests.  Erik's mom came up to me at the Potluck and said something that made me think about our life.  She said, "Yesterday we were driving home from the base, and Erik questioned whether he will ever see his good friend Patrick again once he moves." Erik's mom said she answered him like this.. "And Erik, it was better to have known Patrick for ten months of your life than to not have known him at all."

I thought about this for a moment and thought about how strong our kids really are.  Patrick has seen Erik every school day since school started in August.  In two weeks, Erik will leave, and he will be gone from Patrick's day to day life here in Yokosuka, and he will probably never see him again.   Patrick will be sad and miss his friend, but with all of the people who transfer, that means new people fill their spaces.   Next year will bring more friends and probably more goodbyes.  Matthew has watched five little kids leave his class in the last month.  He never questions- he just comes home and says, "It was Cyrus' last day today!" or "It was Lea's last day today!"  I wonder how my boys can be so strong when saying goodbye, and I sit around and think about how sometimes this military life really just stinks!

This post on my blog makes me think of one of my favorite poems of all time, and I wanted to share with all of my readers.  This is to all of our families, friends, and acquaintances whom have touched us along our journey:

Bits and Pieces

Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. People. People important to you, People unimportant to you cross your life, touch it with love, and move on. There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief and wonder why you ever came into contact with them. There are people who leave you, and you breathe a sigh of remorse and wonder why they had to go and leave such a gaping hole. Children leave parents, friends leave friends.  Acquaintances move on.  People change homes. People grow apart.  Enemies hate and move on. Friends love and move on. You think of the many people who have moved in and out of your hazy memory. You look at those present and wonder. I believe in god's master plan in lives. He moves people in and out of each other's lives, and each leaves his mark on the other. You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who have ever touched your life. You are more because of them, and would be less if they had not touched you. Pray that you accept the bits and pieces in humility and wonder, and never question and never regret. Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.

-Anonymous

From all of this I have learned that this is a very small world, and who knows- we just may see Erik again!!  Matthew's best friend here in Japan is Ryan.  Ryan and Matthew met because I worked with his mom on the Executive Board at the preschool this year and they are in the same class.  Four and a half years ago, Ryan's mom and I were in the same hospital in Libertyville, Ilinois, each of us having our second babies via c-section by Dr. Ginkel.  While I didn't know Carmela at that time (or that she lived a few streets from us), four years later, we would meet in Japan, and learn that our boys were truly meant to become friends.  

We miss you all, and look forward to seeing you again- wherever that may be!!!